A Book of Silence

My review at Amazon.

A Major Update

There was a palbable sense of dismay amongst fillies of both species yesterday afternoon, as local "boss" and not-quite-a-gelding, Major, checked out of Tidmarsh paddocks for a 2-week trial at an Ascot charity. The novelty-seeking cobb loaded at the first time of asking, amazing those humans who've sweated blood to get him on board for previous trips.

Not everyone at Tidmarsh shared the dismay at his departure. As stable mate, "Big Bad" Bailey, pointed out:

"That cantankerous old Section C has been lauding it over the rest of us for long enough. It's about time someone else got first choice of hay-piles."

And referring to the power vaccuum that's opened up:

"Some of us are ready to take the step up to herd-leadership; that was never going to happen with him around. There's going to be some changes around here this autumn, believe me."

Major himself seemed delighted with his new accommodation, immediately wandering over to his new paddock mates to deliver a friendly nip on the crest. Horses and ponies from adjoining fields were whinnying in small groups when news spread ("look, look, it really is him!").

There's no official word yet on where the no-nonsense new arrival is expected to fit into the local heirarchy. Insiders have said "He'll need to take a driving test, like everyone else". Some experts point to his frequent indolence when asked to take part in structured activities of this sort; others point out that his surprising "enthusiasm" for new environments may shock those expecting an easy-paced ride.

Time will tell.

Are you an investor that bought the FTSE100 this week?

If you are, I'd like your help: just tell me why?

If you're a trader, well that's different. But if you're an investor, please tell me what is so attractive about a market that currently on a p/e of 17.3 (weighted by market cap.) or 14.4 (median).

Maybe if the prospects for future earnings were really good, that would be understandable; but analysts estimates of future earnings (yeah, I know, who trusts analysts; but what to do?) for next year for F100 companies show next year's earnings will be down 4.9% on this year's (Source: Sharescope).

So the market doesn't make sense to me; no surprise there then. Am I going to back my judgement by shorting the market on Monday? Nah, of course not.

Review of The Black Swan by Nasim Taleb

My thoughts on The Black Swan are here.

Magnificent Major

It looks like Major's going to go and live in Kent, at least in the short term. And whilst I shall certainly regret his departure, I doubt that he will miss me much. Whilst it's fresh in memory, I shall relate a few things about Major that I've learned over the year he's been with us.



Things that Major Dislikes

• Stables. Well, maybe for particularly bad weather, or if it's breakfast time. But basically, if he's left there for much more than a hour or so, he'll be kicking the door down, just in case you're in any doubt what he thinks.




• Most other horses: actually, I think he's ambivalent about most of them (but see Fillies & Mares, below). Give him his head in the stable area and he'll wander round each of the stables, nosing up to each of the occupants by sticking his head firmly inside the stable; no doubt who's in charge here.




• Anything to do with driving around cones; he's just not interested in nonsense like that. Same goes for long-reining or "practice" sessions in the training paddock. Over-extend his patience and you might get a slightly faster ride than you wanted; and he'll be heading for the exit at every opportunity. Do not expect blind obedience.
  
  
  
• Faddy training methods. Major is a very "knowing" horse; he's seen it all. In fact, I think he probably knows more about being a horse, driving, and how humans interact with horses than any other man or beast.
  
  
  





• Your Agenda, when it's different from his. He will try to accommodate you if you decide you want to ride rather than drive, but basically don't expect his mood to improve. And when he had sore feet once, he reluctantly went out the gate and down the road, but refused point blank to go beyond the next gate that would take us swiftly back home. The air turned blue with as J screamed and shouted at him to "walk on"; but he knew what was right for him, and clip-clopping up a hard road was not it. Not that all this drama drove him to do anything rash, like dart across the road in front of traffic (which by this stage had stopped in both directions). He just calmly waited for J to give-in, and give him the word to turn for home. Very smart boy; for which he earned the nickname "Old Two Hooves": as in, that's what I think of your plan for today.
  

Things that Major Likes

• Food: especially grass, the sweeter and fresher the better (also the way he prefers his fillies, for that matter). Decent chaff is good for a change, but if he's being fed at the same time as the other nags, he'll be sure to check their buckets aren't any tastier than his (they won't object if they've got any sense...). And if it must be hay, it had better be crunchy; definitely not wet.
  
  


• Fillies & Mares: unlike the other geldings on site, Major is far from incapable. This surprised my dear wife one frosty morning, when she went down to see how well he was getting on with his new paddock "mate", a young and untouched filly. They were getting on just fine, actually! His reputation must have spread, because mares generally are on more familiar terms with him than any of the geldings.
  
  


• Subservience: all other equines are expected to comply, and when he joined the herd about a year ago, it was the existing "boss" - a young, bully-boy Spanish nag, much larger than Major - that took the punishment. His education lasted about a week - we can tell this because after that time, the blood wounds stopped appearing on Spanish (I recall none at all on Major).
  
  
  
• Rivers: a friend called him the "aquatic pony", on account of the time he spent paddling around in the stream at the end of the paddock. And when the cold weather came and the other nags were aghast to find their water supply frozen over, it was only Major who had the wit to know that the stream also contained water, and that it was quite drinkable.
  

• Interesting New Places. Being a most intelligent pony (most nags, I tell you, betray nothing when you look into their eyes, because frankly, there's not much to betray), Major likes new places to run around. We took him out to Ashe Warren farm last week, a lovely spot with great views. Major stormed around the place, completely surprising J and some of the other nag experts who'd marked down as "lazy" or just plain difficult.
  
  




• Aesthetic Experiences Driving the other day, we came to a particularly good view over the countryside, and he just stopped for a minute to take it all in. Unprompted. He wasn't particularly tired or even bolshy (this time); just taking in the view. And in his own time, he carried on round the course.




• Baths in warm weather. Being a welsh mountain pony, he's not so keen on the heat. But a decent hosing down after work: sheer bliss. I should have token a photo .
  
  
  
• Open gates: nothing's better than the prospect of an unauthorised escape from the paddock. He'll run off excitedly and do a little jig that culminates in some serious bucking; steer well clear of that!

Basically, this is a horse that knows what he likes, and how his world functions. Hopefully he'll be all too much to handle for his new hosts, and we'll see him back in the spring.

Everything Ravaged, Everything Burned

Read here my thoughts of the book of short stories, Everything Ravaged, Everything Burned.

Urgent Notice: Potential Danger of Horse Hair

I was sent this by my dear wife:

This is a public service announcement...

In a press release today, the National Institute of Health (US) has announced the discovery of a potentially dangerous substance in the hair of horses.

This substance, called "amobacter equuii" has been linked with the following symptoms in females:

• Reluctance to cook, clean or do housework.
• Reluctance to wear make-up, good clothes or heels.
• Reluctance to spend money on home or car repairs until after "baby has new shoes, pad, rug, saddle, feed, hay & supplements".

"Amobacter equuii" usually results in long hours away from home and exhaustion which may lead to a loss of physical contact with other humans (especially husbands).

"Amobacter equuii" is thought to be addictive, driving the need for additional sources - this may lead to a "herd mentality" or, just like gin or vodka, "..you can't have just one".

Beware! If you come in contact with a female human infected by this substance, be prepared to talk about horses for hours.

Surgeon General's Warning:
Horses are expensive, addictive, and may impair the ability to use common sense.